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afew___xwords
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Name: Claire
Gender: Female
Interests: all of the pictures and everything written here is my original work, unless otherwise stated.
Expertise: 'The only people for me are the mad one, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars...'Jack Kerouac
Message: message me
AIM:  i like insightful, deep conversations. if you have that; message me.
Member Since:
1/1/2008
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[photo from gelelie]
Why no, I did not know you, but I do not like when people
disappear. Strangers have their habits, but you were someone
who existed beyond the walls of my mind. Memories are just
empty shelves collecting dust and rust. And I needed a proper
ending and another finishing touch. All I need is for something
to come and hold me, but I am like ice in water, you can't wait
too long or you'll lose me. Don't lose me. Oh, don't lose me.
Please be my ghost and haunt me so I have a reason not to sleep.
Oh, I wish I could watch out for you when the sun faded, but
you have gone away to places I have always feared. Begging,
for another ending than the one you have given. I need a finished
sentence when you've only left a fragment. Send me your words
so I can finish what hadn't even begun. Because I am a ghost
without you -I feel like a ghost that only dreams of being you.
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you may not have missed me, but i miss all of the nonsense and useless words that spat out of your teeth. believe me, i miss being someone you believed
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[courtesy of www.ethereal-life.deviantart.com]
The emptiness is surrounding me and I'm finding it so much
harder to breathe again. But the world won't take anymore
excuses, and the world doesn't care if I'm falling apart again.
When everything is so hollow and everything is so lonesome
there is nowhere to turn to. And I just want a break from this
nuisance of things they say I need, when there are things so
much bigger always surrounding me. I'd love to see them keep
up on their own two feet if they lived like me. Yeah, that's a
sight I would pay to see. That's someone I'd hate to be.
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once again, my life is in havoc. and once again they'd like me to believe that there is more importance in these stupid daily activities.
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this is nothing poetic or artistic, but it is something i needed to say.
take it with a grain of salt
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[courtesy of www.ethereal-life.deviantart.com]
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There's a birthmark on her shoulder, but she can't remember
from when. I stand in the corner watching her so empty and grim.
It seems, though, she's stolen, from something hiding within.
She knows not what she does, but she does what she's told- the
silence consumes her and the violence unfolds. She pulls at her hair
while they watch and they laugh, encouraging the behaviour they
know she should lack. I watch as they take her, picking apart her
soul. She knows not where she is, but she knows it is all very cold.
I am cautious and wary as I watch the voices exposed. They hold
her hands and they guide her to places she should not go. The display
is so maddening that I forget who I am, but I can't remember when
they took me, or even where I am. I know not what I do, but I do what
I'm told. But the silence consumes me pleading, "Please let me go."
And before I can scream the violence has already unfurled.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I promise I am easing back into my soul.
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[courtesy of www.casinegro.xanga.com]
Everything has gone fuzzy and every rain makes things so
muddy. I'm left with yesterday again today, because time
won't let me stay in the best days. I've been losing my mind and
all of my sight, and if I'd climb all the mountains it would be just a waste.
But when I dream the best of dreams everything slips away. And even
if I beg they won't give me any space. Giving my days to the past, because
things aren't going to change. I'm just another face and things will never
be the same. So if I count all of the lines along the streets and breathe in
all the air I can breathe, when the daylight fades will you leave me anyway?
And if I climb all the stairs into the sky above will my efforts be in haste?
Because the crowds won't remember a face they pass everyday and my
heart can't take any more of these lonely stays. Leave the best days in my
memories and in my chaos I will disappear, raging into my furious peace again.
---
I am terrified of who I am becoming.
---
I
will
return
eventually.
Please
wait
for me.
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[I don't remember where I saw this]
Her thoughts fill every void, overflowing, while these
actions are single drops of water. Everyday is so much
longer and every heartbeat is so much harder.
There is a rumbling crawling from inside her, pleading
for attention again, but this mind ignores every signal sent.
Every evening her sun rises rather than sets,
and everything around her is so pretty and effortless.
But when sleep is so difficult to come by, the fake
mornings never last. And when every night is never-ending,
every morning gets tangled and lost inside the past.
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I'm beginning to feel that I will never be able to sleep in a normal pattern. Although, this shouldn't be a surprise since I haven't slept in any normal fashion for the past five years.
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